General Outlook
August finds you in a whirlwind of thoughts, plans, and five group chats you forgot to respond to. You’re booked, busy, and barely emotionally available. The stars tried to give you clarity, but you started multitasking halfway through the message.
Love & Relationships
In love, you’re torn between settling down and ghosting someone because they used ‘ur’ instead of ‘you’re.’ Relationships might feel like a group project you didn’t sign up for but somehow lead anyway. Exciting? Yes. Stable? Hilarious.
Career & Finance
Your charm could get you promoted or investigated—it’s a fine line. Finances are... inconsistent. You splurge on experiences, which sounds poetic until your bank account starts sobbing.
Health & Wellness
Your health is riding a chaotic wave. You balance intense workouts with three consecutive Uber Eats orders. Consider sleeping. It’s like screen time, but for your soul.