General Outlook
Welcome to September, Capricorn, your personal tax season of the soul. You’re organized, stressed, and quietly judging everyone who’s still ‘finding themselves.’ You found yourself at 17 and put them to work.
Love & Relationships
Love feels like a project plan to you, which is equal parts terrifying and effective. Single Capricorns will swipe left on anyone without a LinkedIn profile. In a relationship? You're romantic in a 'scheduled affection' kind of way.
Career & Finance
Crushing it at work as usual, which means you’re 90% burnout, 10% smug satisfaction. Finances are solid, because you treat money like an employee—controlled and mildly feared.
Health & Wellness
Your health is fine, but you treat rest like a weakness. Fun fact: sleep isn’t a productivity hack—it’s a basic human need. Try it sometime.