Taurus

July is here and, wow, look at you—still emotionally attached to your couch. The stars would advise change, but they know better than to waste their breath. You’ll be fine as long as you’re surrounded by snacks, scented candles, and denial. In love, your idea of romance this month is sharing your fries without side-eyeing the other person. If you’re single, it’s probably because no one has passed your rigorous 18-point checklist. Career-wise, you’ll continue doing your job with quiet resentment and unmatched efficiency. Money is steady—mostly because you refuse to spend it unless it's on artisanal cheeses or Egyptian cotton. Health-wise, your body is doing okay considering your strict routine of stretching once a week and calling it yoga. Maybe drink some water between sips of iced coffee. Just a suggestion, not a threat.