VENICE – In a bold move to protect the city’s cultural heritage, Venice has announced that tourists will now require an official “Bikini License” before wearing swimsuits in public. The initiative, city officials say, is aimed at maintaining the city’s “historical authenticity” — because nothing ruins a 500-year-old canal backdrop like neon Lycra and pineapple prints.
Applicants will be vetted through a rigorous approval process, which includes an online history quiz (“Name three Doges who wouldn’t be caught dead in a tankini”) and a sworn declaration that they will not pose for Instagram while leaning provocatively on centuries-old marble.
To help visitors comply, the city has launched an exclusive range of pre-approved Renaissance-accent swimwear — think bikinis with ruffled collars, monogrammed codpieces, and one-piece suits patterned after Titian portraits. Prices start at €299, though city hall stresses “you can’t put a price on dignity… but you can on tasteful embroidery.”
The rule has already attracted international attention, thanks to lifestyle influencer Sienna Luxe, who arrived in Venice in a fluorescent thong bikini to “blend in with the culture.” Upon being fined €1,700, she posted a teary video explaining, “I literally didn’t know Venice had, like, history? I thought it was just floating Aperol.” The video has been viewed 8 million times and accidentally doubled applications for the Bikini License.
City officials maintain that the crackdown is “not about policing fun,” but about making sure future generations can enjoy Venice “without wondering why the 16th-century Bridge of Sighs is photobombed by inflatable flamingos.”