In a bold move to engage a younger audience, the Vatican has announced the launch of its first-ever reality competition, “So You Think You Can Pope?” Contestants from around the world will go head-to-head in a series of papal challenges, including epic incense swinging, divine sermon delivery, and a rigorous test of their ability to keep a straight face during awkward confessions.
The show will feature a star-studded judging panel, including a retired cardinal, a celebrity nun with a TikTok following, and, naturally, Saint Peter’s ghost via hologram. The grand prize? The keys to the Popemobile, a lifetime supply of holy water, and, of course, the ultimate title of Supreme Pontiff.
Early frontrunners include Father Tony “The Rock” Rossi, known for his record-breaking benedictions, and Sister Maria “The Smiter” Delgado, whose Bible trivia skills have left competitors quaking.
Tune in to find out who will rise to the heavenly occasion – and who will get smited out of the competition. Godspeed, contestants.