EUROPE — With rent, groceries, and sanity all skyrocketing, Gen Z has officially entered its late-stage capitalism renaissance — inventing increasingly surreal side hustles to survive.The latest craze? “simpleService”, a new app described as “Uber with a hint of sarcasm, it’s for doing literally anything if it pays €6 an hour.
“I made €18 yesterday just staring at daisies so they don’t feel lonely” said Mila, 24, a part-time sociology student and full-time existentialist. “It’s relaxing, except when someone orders the ‘Deluxe Pollination Package,’ and I have to hum to the flowers for 45 minutes straight.”
simpleService’s CEO, Luca Trendino call the platform a revolution: “We’re giving gen z a fighting chance in an economy that AI is slowly overtaking. These are jobs AI won’t replace, because it just wouldn’t be the same.”
Other trending services include:
- Cloud rating: users rate clouds from 1–5 based on “emotional density.
- ”Vibe Guarding: standing outside cafés to repel bad energy with affirmations.
- Micro-Applause: clapping for strangers who look like they need it.
- Fly Catching: a premium tier in which freelancers gently clap insects out of existence for eco-conscious homeowners.
Critics accuse the app of exploiting desperation, but simpleService defends itself by offering “mental wellness bonuses” for users who haven’t cried during a gig in over a week.
Meanwhile, governments are struggling to regulate the new economy. “Technically, it’s legal,” said one labour minister. “But morally, it’s… avant-garde suffering.”
As for Gen Z, most say they’re just trying to survive long enough to afford something truly unattainable: a stable salary. “If someone pays me €10 to read this article out loud,” said one user, “I’ll call it a win.”