Question: Southern Europe is experiencing record-breaking heat, with wildfires forcing mass evacuations in Spain, Greece, and beyond. How do you all see this situation?
Oleg Smirnov:
“In my day, summer was always 40 degrees. No one called it crisis; we called it ‘July.’ We had no air conditioning, we had discipline. If forest burned, we roasted potatoes in ashes. Children now? They faint when Wi-Fi goes down. Fires are not problem. Weak people are problem. Hah! Now pass me bottle, it hydrates better than your avocado water.”
Nigel “Nige” Bluster:
“Listen, mate— it’s August. It’s hot. Always has been. I went to Benidorm in ’98, same story: sweating by the pool, bit of sunburn, happy days. This climate change lark? Just another excuse for Brussels to sell you a €500 ‘eco-fan’ that doesn’t even work. Fires happen. Pour a pint on it, job done. Simple as.”
Helga von Gründlich:
“At precisely 14:03 CET, I reviewed the evacuation protocols for Greece and found them deeply unsatisfactory. No QR codes, no multilingual PDF guidelines, not even a laminated flowchart. People are just running without a registration number — this is chaos disguised as safety. If they simply filed Form 9-W ‘Emergency Relocation Request,’ the fires could be handled in an orderly fashion.”
Paola Ferrucci:
“Darling, the heatwave is actually an opportunity. Imagine the golden lighting for sunset yoga… and if your villa burns down, it’s the universe telling you to declutter. I just launched a Wildfire Wellness Retreat package: evacuation by vintage Vespa, followed by a gluten-free picnic in a safe zone. It’s very on-brand for resilience.”