LOS GINGERS — Netflix is launching Netflix Background Noise, a €3.99/month subscription for people who never actually watch anything. Subscribers get looping ambient dialogue from fake shows that sounds serious, dramatic, or mysterious—perfect for cleaning, crying, or pretending you’re not alone.
The service works like this: users select from a variety of moods—“Mysterious Corporate Conspiracy,” “Dramatic Family Argument,” or “Philosophical Café Chatter”—and press play. The audio loops seamlessly, featuring dialogue such as:
- “I can’t believe she knew about the thing… and then didn’t say the thing!”
- “Everything is connected… but also not connected… wait, what?”
Netflix claims the service meets the needs of the 60% of users who open the app just to feel like they’re watching something while scrolling Instagram. No actual video is included—because who has time for visuals when you can just sound busy?
Early testers report mixed but promising results. Some say the loops are “so convincingly dramatic that my cat stares at me like I’m the villain,” while others admit they’ve accidentally cried over dialogue that isn’t real.
Netflix Background Noise launches globally next month.